Musician Has Threesome With Two College Girls After Concert

“Dan” is a citizen journalist in Louisville, Kentucky. He has a friend named “Linus,” who was in a band in the Louisville area from 2001 – 2004. Dan spoke to Linus about life in small-time rock band. Here’s the interview:

Dan: You were in a band that played around Louisville at the beginning of the decade. How was that?

Linus: Crazy. It was a lot of booze, drugs, and women. And, of course, music.

Where did you play?

Mostly in Louisville, at places like the Phoenix Hill Tavern and Headliners. We played at college towns around Kentucky, Southern Ohio, and Tennessee. We played at UT [the University of Tennessee] and Ohio State.

But you don’t wanna give the name of your band.

No, that would be like giving my real name. It just wouldn’t be cool.

Alright then. Let’s hear about the booze, drugs and women.

[laughing] That’s always what people ask me about. Nobody asks me about the music. … The booze – hey, this is Kentucky – we drank bourbon like it was water. Most of it was just given to us. Club owners wanted us to put on a good show, so they’d feed us shots. A few times, though, we nicked bottles of Beam from the bar. Beam always loosened us up. Sometimes, when it was just us playing on a given night, we’d refer to Jim Beam as the “opening” act.

And the drugs?

Weed. Lots of weed. Marijuana is the number one cash crop in Kentucky. It’s gotten a lot of musicians through a lot of gigs in this state. We played in Bowling Green one time, back in 2001 when no one had heard of us, at this shitty little club. There was a mix-up between our manager and the club owner. He thought we were an alt. country band, but we’re just alt.

When we were warming up a few hours before the show, we play a few songs on stage. The owner wasn’t around to hear us, so he had no idea what we were going to play.

Then, when we got up there, we opened with this howling tune with machine-gun guitar riffs. [laughing] Shit, man. There were about 100 people in attendance, a couple of cowboy hats out there. The look of disgust on their faces was priceless.

Within ten minutes, the crowd got whittled down to about 50. The owner came up to us after about the third song, livid. “What the fuck are you guys playing!” he asked.

“Do you guys know any country?” he asked. He was actually kind of desperate.

Luckily, we did know a few classics, and some Gram Parsons. So, we winged it. But we made a deal with the guy: We’d play country if he let us take a ten minute break to get stoned. We told him the only way we could play country was if we slowed things down. He agreed.

Did you guys do anything harder than weed?

A couple of us did some coke. If it was around, sure, we’d partake. But it never got out of hand. When you’re in that industry, it’s just always around. The truth is, we played better, and put on a better show when a few of us did a few lines.

Alright. And finally, how about the women?

Where do I start? First of all, we had a small following on a half dozen college campuses. We released a couple of EPs. The college girls loved us, girls at UK, Louisville, Western Kentucky, Centre. So we always hooked up with them. … There are some stories I just can’t tell.

No? Why not?

Use your imagination…

So, what can you tell? Any good stories?

Sure. I once had a threesome with two women from the University of Louisville. That was fun. We played a private party at a house near the campus. I think the guys who rented the house had just graduated, because there were a lot of U of L girls there.

While we were playing, I noticed these two girls near the front. They were both giving me these “fuck-me” eyes. I made eye contact back. After the show, I went up to them and introduced myself. The three of us talked for about an hour. At one point, I looked around for my ride, but he’d already left, so the girls offered to drive me home.

On the ride to my place, one of the girls said, “Why don’t you stay with me?” The other girl was staying with her that night, too.
“We can be your little groupies for the night,” she said. I thought she was joking, but she wasn’t.

That’s incredible.

Oh, I know! So, we get back to the girl’s apartment. Her roommate was away, so we had the place to ourselves. We were in the living room, and I said, “You know, you two are wearing two much clothes to be groupies. Any self-respecting groupie needs to get down to their panties.” And they did.

One of the girls brought out some rubbing oil, and we took turns massaging each others’ shoulders with it. Then, one of them starting kissing my neck and ear. I got a hard on, and the other one asked, “Can I touch it?” I didn’t answer, because I was making out with the first girl, but I felt the other unzipping my fly. It was crazy.

I ended up fucking both of them. They didn’t fuck each other, so all the attention was on me. The next morning, they drove me back to my apartment. I left for Amsterdam to visit an ex-girlfriend a week later. When I got back, I was just exhausted. I never saw the two girls again.

Do you miss all the sex and drugs that come with being in a band?

No. I miss the music.