Students Become Artistically Inspired, Use Drunk Friend As Canvas

“Montana Mitch” submitted this story about the time he and some friends scrawled a little graffiti ... on their friend. Were they naughty, ... or just expressing their artistic side? Read and decide.

Last year a big group of us went to South Padre Island for Spring Break. South Padre is a great place. It’s an island on the southern coast of Texas, and college students from all around the Midwest and Rockies congregate down there.

I drove all the way down from Montana State with three other guys in a Honda Civic. It took us about 26 hours. When we finally arrived, we were exhausted, but we couldn’t find a place to stay. All the hotels and condos were booked.

We eventually found a flea-bag hotel for $100. One bed. Two slept on the bed, two on the floor.

The next day, we met a couple of girls from Indiana who said that they would let us have one of the rooms in their two room condo. The situation was great. Four girls from Indiana in one bedroom, and four guys from Montana in the other.

We all got drunk together, and went out to the clubs around the island. We wanted to hook up with the girls, but they really had a herd mentality. They were all in the same sorority at IU, and were deathly afraid of doing anything that their sisters would disapprove of. Basically, they teased all of us, except my friend Dennis. He actually hooked up with the cutest of the four.

The ensuing naughtiness didn’t come in the form of sexual relations. It came in the form of sexual frustrations. One night, Dennis drank too much tequila and passed out on the living room couch. The rest of the guys in the condo (and two of the girls, too) envied Dennis for getting a little action, and couldn’t just let him sleep in peace.

We grabbed some sharpies, stripped him to his boxers and drew all over him. Ha! It was hilarious. We drew an arrow pointing to his asshole and wrote, “Insert cock here!” We sketched a bra across his chest. On his back, we drew a giant “69” and the tag line “Men Wanted!”

Then the two girls busted out the makeup. They put lipstick on his lips, mascara on his lashes, shadow on his eyelids, and blush on his cheeks. The guy looked like a real homosexual!

We took out the cameras and snapped a bunch of photos.

The next morning, he woke up, wearing a mini skirt and heels. He looked absolutely ridiculous. The girl he hooked up with was so disturbed – and turned off – that they never spent any significant time together again. Dennis was hungover and miserable the next day. Although the weather was perfect, he stayed in the condo, trying to get the ink and makeup off himself.

Sure, he hooked up with a chick. But he paid for it.