Drunken College Kid Commandeers Bulldozer

Thomas, a computer programmer from Wisconsin, believes he deserves naughty American status because of a drunken college night when he and some friends decided to cause some mischief and start up a bulldozer.

Here is his story told to TNA:

Back in college (2001), me and three friends went out for a night of debauchery. I was at my friend’s house, which was about 15 blocks from the main street, where all the bars were. Of course, we got hammered before we even left his house, shot some pool and even lit some bottle rockets off at cars driving by his house—another typical day in college for me and my friends.

Around 10:00 we left for the bars, which stay open till 2:30 a.m. I don’t remember much from about 10:00 - 2:30. On the walk home, we had to walk through a lot of residential areas. We were being loud and pushing each other around like good drunks do, when we stumbled across a HUGE bulldozer sitting on the side of the road. I could not believe our good fortune!

I thought, What the hell, I should at least try to start this bad boy. What are the chances the keys would be left in it? I climbed into the seat and looked at the sea of levers and knobs. Over to the right, to my amazement, were the keys. I didn’t think I had a chance in hell at getting this beast started.

I turned the key and started messing with the levers. I must have found the right one because the bulldozer started right up. The noise was very loud and startling. I was surprised, but very happy! I found the throttle and jammed it all the way up. The smoke stack was going crazy, smoke was billowing out and the sound was tremendous.

Soon the lights started coming on in the neighboring houses. I kept the bulldozer running and we fled the scene. All the while, we could smell the diesel fuel and hear the roar of the bulldozer.

When we got back to the house, I had this great idea to go back and see what was happening, and I convinced one of my buddies to roll with me. When we got back, the scene was much how we left it. We hid behind some bushes to watch. The neighbors were now out of their houses trying to talk above the noise. It was damn funny. Soon the cops came and tried to turn off the dozer. It took them a good while, but they finally accomplished their goal.

I had had so much fun at at point I didn’t want it to end. So we waited for the cops to leave and for everybody else to go back inside their homes. Then I jumped back on the bulldozer and looked to see if the keys were still there. And damn it if the cops didn’t leave them there. I couldn’t believe it: the keys were still there! The cops had no idea who they were dealing with; they should have taken the keys with them.

I once again turned on the man-made beast. The exact same scenario happened all over again, except we didn’t run. We hid and watched it all over again, trying not to give our position away from laughing so hard! We still talk about that incident today. What a great summer memory!