Wife Only Gives Blowjobs In Movie Theaters

(As told to The Naughty American.)

I’d like to nominate my wife as a Naughty American. She definitely qualifies.

We’ve been married 15 years and she really likes giving me head—but only in movie theatres. She won’t suck me off in bed, or anywhere else, but every so often, she gives me that look that tells me she wants to see a movie.

Actually, I don’t know how much she sees because some time during the first reel, she will unzip my pants and play with my johnson until it’s starting to get hard and then she’ll bend over the seat and start blowing me.

Depending on how long it’s been between films, or how enthusiastically she sucks, I either come within a few minutes or last all the way to the film’s climax.

Once she gave me such an intense BJ during an action flick that I fell asleep for the rest of the movie. But I got my revenge during the next film we saw—a chick flick—by secretly masturbating beforehand. It took her until the closing credits before I finally blew my wad.

I don’t know why my wife has this thing for movie blowjobs, but she says it started when she worked at a movie theatre in Palm Springs, California, and had a Friends-With-Benefits thing going on with the projectionist.

I enjoy the blowjobs, but sometimes I’d like to just lay back on the bed instead of the movie theatre chair, but she has always refused to give me head anywhere else but a movie theatre.

When we first started dating, it was cool. We’d go to films three times a week, but after we had kids, it was harder to find the time, but we still manage to see a movie at least once every two weeks.

Things have changed in other ways for us as well. The new stadium seats usually have armrests that can be moved out of the way and that makes it easier for my wife to suck me. However, now that our oldest child is starting high school and knows some kids who work at the local theaters, my wife worries about being caught in the act.

I told her, “That’s never stopped you before.”

“True,” she said.

Although many people might find my wife’s naughty hobby shocking, we do take precautions to make things as safe as possible. We read lots of film reviews and make sure to see the bombs during their second or third week in theaters. Usually, we’re the only people watching the flick. Well, I am anyway.

If we’re seeing a really artsy film, we go to the first showing on a Monday or Tuesday. If the film is family-oriented, we go to the very last showing of the day. One of my wife’s most memorable “performances” happened recently when we went to the last showing of “Fly Me To The Moon,” which is a cartoon about flies that go to the moon.

Terrible movie. Great blowjob.