TNA Editors
America is a great place to be naughty and The Naughty American considers it a patriotic duty to celebrate and vilify the folks who make this such a naughty country.
Be careful. If you're naughty, we will catch you. Better yet, tell us how you're naughty at . Your naughtiness might win you a nice prize.
Puerto Rico corpse kept upright for 3-day wake
SAN JUAN, P.R. -- A Puerto Rican man has been granted his wish to remain standing -- even in death.
A funeral home used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina standing upright for his three-day wake.
Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother's living room.
His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: "He wanted to be happy, standing."
The owner of the Marin Funeral Home, Damaris Marin, told The Associated Press the mother asked him to fulfill her dead son's last wish.
Pantoja was found dead Friday underneath a bridge in San Juan and buried Monday. Police are investigating.
The Naughty American says: We express our heartfelt condolences to the Pantoja family, and feel he's an inspiration to us all. Death is not something to take lying down.
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Charlie Sheen's biggest regret: Not learning Spanish????
HOLLYWOOD -- Considering Charlie Sheen's rep as a tabloid bad boy, it's surprising that his only regret in life is that he never learned Spanish.
Sheen -- whose birth name is Carlos Estevez -- admits he gets bummed out about not knowing his native tongue, but says his wife is fluent and is tutoring him.
The Naughty American says: Spanish is a beautiful language and very practical. Now Sheen will be able to say, "I want two hookers wearing cheerleader outfits to come to my house -- pronto!" in more than one language.
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Cell phone photo foils man in Pizza Hut plot
ELKO, Nev. -- A man accused of trying to extort $500 from a Pizza Hut in Elko was foiled by his own cell phone camera.
Police said a former employee of the restaurant allegedly called the manager on Friday and told him he had five Pizza Hut signs that are used on the roofs of vehicles and wouldn't return them unless he was paid $500.
Police said the manager wanted proof that Long had the signs. So the 23-year-old man sent him a cell phone picture that proved to be his undoing.
Officers were able to zoom in on license plate numbers of two vehicles in the background that are registered to the man.
He's been charged with extortion, possession of stolen property and grand larceny. Bail is set at $15,000.
The Naughty American says: The thief's big mistake was trying to blackmail Pizza Hut. Had he tried to extort Domino's Pizza, he would've had his money in 30 minutes or less.
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Suit accuses restaurant of giving man big tapeworm
CHICAGO -- A man who contends he got a 9-foot tapeworm after eating undercooked fish has sued a Chicago restaurant.
In the lawsuit filed Monday, Anthony Franz said he ordered salmon salad for lunch from Shaw's Crab House in 2006 and fell violently ill. He later passed the giant parasite, which a pathologist determined came from undercooked fish, such as salmon.
Franz's lawsuit seeks $100,000 from Shaw's and its parent company, Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises, contending the restaurant's staff was negligent in serving him improperly cooked fish.
But Carrol Symank, vice president of food safety for Lettuce Entertain You, said the tapeworm didn't come from Shaw's.
"We have done a thorough investigation and we're confident the restaurant is not the source," he said.
The Naughty American says: Say what you want about tapeworms, they do help trim the waistline. That could explain why the restaurant is so popular in a city that has been rated one of America's fattest.
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Woman pleads guilty to stealing South Carolina ID
GREENVILLE, S.C. -- A Montana woman has pleaded guilty to stealing the identify of a missing South Carolina woman to get into an Ivy League school.
Esther Elizabeth Reed pleaded guilty to fraud and identity theft charges Tuesday in federal court in Greenville.
The 30-year-old faces up to 47 years in prison and $1 million in fines for ID theft, mail fraud, wire fraud and loan fraud charges.
Reed was indicted last year for using Brooke Henson's identity to get into Columbia University.
Prosecutors have said Reed juggled six false identities to attend California State University at Fullerton and Columbia. In 2004, she used Henson's name to get student loans.
Investigators do not think Reed was involved with Henson's 1999 disappearance.
The Naughty American says: While Reed gets naughty points for attempting to swindle her way to an Ivy League education, we feel that anybody who needs to con their way into the California State University system deserves their comeuppance.
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Sources: Associated Press; Wireless Flash