(Warning: adult content) Larry Knowles
SAN DIEGO (TNA) – You don’t need to be a professional photographer to get hot women to take off their clothes and pose nude for free. You don’t even need to know anything about photography. What you need is a camera – even a crappy one – and a few tips from the guys (“heroes” we call them here at TNA) who have done it before.
The Naughty American spoke to three photographers with years of experience shooting nude women and asked them to give advice to stiffs like us who know little about photography, women, or either.
Finding a girl
First, you have to find a girl. All three photographers advise going to some of the web sites where models and photographers hang out and setting up a profile. Modelmayhem.com and Onemodelplace.com are good places to start.
Once you’ve set up a profile, post photos. Anything will suffice. “They can be of trees, shrubs, rocks,” says D.B., an amateur photographer with decades of experience photographing naked women. “Just get something up there.”
It’s important to understand that if your photos are crap, you’ll be labeled a “GWC,” or Guy With Camera, a derogatory term for guys who don’t know what the $&*# they’re doing, … guys like you and me.
But don’t worry, says L.B., a fetish photographer who’s been shooting nudes for about a year. “There are also a ton of wannabe models out there, too.”
Adds D.B.: “A lot of girls like to say they’re on the site. They think that makes them a model.”
Next, begin posting ads and contacting models, using the lingo that real photographers use. “TFP” is one of the most popular terms. It stands for “Time For Prints,” meaning you’ll provide prints of the shoot in exchange for the model’s time. (This is what tells the model she’s going to be posing for free.)
Make sure that the models understand that it will be a nude shoot. Don’t get cute by suggesting a lingerie shoot, then adding, “We’ll see where it goes.”
If you don’t hear from a girl, don’t feel bad. According to D.B., only about 5 percent of the women you contact will get back to you.
Getting a girl
Once you’ve made contact with a girl, they’ll want to know more about you and your concept for the shoot. Be direct. It’s a sign of confidence. Says D.B., “I tell them, ‘You meet me at this hotel. You get naked, and you start playing with yourself.’”
Some girls, however, will hesitate to meet up with an unknown photographer. If that’s the case, change tack and emphasize the artistic side to the shoot. “Tell her, ‘I wanna be the one who gets good photos of you,’” D.B. says, “’and I don’t see any out there.’”
Being pretentious doesn’t hurt, either. Throw out buzz words like “ texture” and “line,” and empty phrases such as “topography of the feminine form.”
“Mention ‘shadows,’” says L.B. “You may want to suggest shooting in black and white because the women will think it’s more arty.”
If she’s cautious, she’ll want references. Give her your girlfriend’s phone number. If you don’t have a girlfriend, get a female friend to vouch for you.
She may want to bring a friend, too. Don’t be stupid – don’t object to this, even if it’s a boyfriend. After all, as D.B. says, “If you’re just trying to get the chick naked, whether the boyfriend around is irrelevant.”
You, of course, could provide some friendly advice.
“Tell them to bring a female friend,” says Stew, an art school grad in New York City with seven years of experience. “Say, ‘I want you to feel more feminine. You can have girl talk.’” Of course, you don’t give a damn about them feeling feminine, but, as Stew relates from experience, there’s the distinct possibility that the girlfriend may join in.
If a girl asks for money, be firm. D.B. suggests saying, “No money changes hands either way. We’re doing it for art, not commercial purposes.”
Choosing the location
You convinced her to do it. (Congratulations.) Now you have to pick a location. Apartments, houses, and offices are all fine. Just don’t suggest a hotel room for the first shoot – that’s a hack move.
“It’ll scare the bejesus out of them,” says D.B., who built a reputation before shooting in hotel rooms. “She’ll feel like a hooker. … She arrives with a suitcase full of clothes she’ll never wear, to spend a couple of hours in a hotel room with a guy she’s never met.”
D.B. advises shooting in public areas, where the girl will feel relatively safe, such as beaches or parks. Shooting in public brings different concerns, however. “You don’t want to lose your girl to the cops,” D.B. warns. “I’ve had a few come up and do ID checks.”
Meeting the girl
When you get a model on location, remember the first and most important rule: Never touch the woman, not even to adjust her hair. Anything besides taking nude photos isn’t part of the deal.
Says D.B., “All you wanna do is see a naked chick, not anything that puts you in jail.” He adds that he presents his driver’s license to models he’s shooting for the first time.
When shooting in your apartment, the rule of thumb for GWCs is “boldly bullshit where no photographer has ever bullshit before.”
For example, if she remarks that you don’t have professional lighting, quip that you prefer to shoot in natural light. Models will buy this – they have to. After all, how can they argue against anything “natural”?
If she remains wary, look disdainfully at her and say two words: “Helmut Newton.” Newton is a famous German photographer known for shooting in natural light.
Or, as Stew suggests (rather shamefully), drop in a mention of the “Flemish school of painting,” where artists painted subjects in the natural light from nearby windows.
Getting the girl naked
You’re on a nude shoot, and you both understand this, so there’s no point in easing into the nudity. All three photographers advise telling the girls to take off their clothes immediately.
“As soon as they get in, throw them a robe,” says Stew. “Tell them it’s because you don’t want clothes to leave marks.”
Adds D.B., “Just say, ‘Take off your clothes.’ You gotta do it.”
When the robe comes off, make sure she feels comfortable by letting her talk. Listen to her story, her goals, her whatever. (It’s always the same.) Just put in your time.
And polish your acting skills.
“Act stereotypically, flamboyantly gay,” Stew advocates. “Say things like ‘That’s it! You’re beautiful! You’re gonna turn all the gay men straight.’”
He also advises using “colorful girly terms” to talk about the girl’s body parts, such as, “Cross your legs and put your hand over your hoohoo.”
Stew adds that he often does the poses first. “It may look stupid, but they see I’m serious about the shoot and relax.”
Getting the girl naked ... and spread
It’s a nude shoot, not a gynecological exam. That means working up to the spread shots by asking her to do relatively harmless stuff, such as run up the beach and back. While she’s running, you can scheme how you’re going to get her to open her legs. If you need more time, tell her to run up the beach again.
Some chicks will want to control the shoot, only striking the poses they want. To avoid this, tweak their ego. Suggest that what she’s doing is neither arty, nor sexy.
“Tell her, ‘OK, stop posing so hard,’” says D.B.. “Now, here’s what I want you to do. …”
If she complains about a pose being tacky, D.B. says you have three options: (1) defend the pose, (2) agree with her, or – D.B.’s favorite – (3) agree with her and say, “But this is stereotypical cheesy photography, and I want to expose it to the world!”
Wrapping it up
Shoot duration varies with each photographer. L.B., for example, usually takes 5 – 10 minutes, while D.B. takes about two hours. Work within these parameters. No six-hour shoots over dinner, drinks, and a long walk on the beach.
Doing it again
Once you’ve done your first shoot, get out and do more. With each session, you’ll gain confidence. You might even lose the GWC tag. Hell, you might get to the point where you’re bored shooting hot naked chicks all the time. If that ever happens, step away from the lens for a while. Come to your senses. You’ve got one of the greatest hobbies on the planet.
(Warning: adult content)