SAN DIEGO (TNA) – So, you think you’ve got what it takes to be in porn? Well, aside from a set of fake DD breasts or an 11-inch dick, there’s one other asset you’ll need: a catchy porn name.

Now, you’re probably thinking of the old porn-name method of combining your middle name with the name of the street you grew up on. That works, but it’s only one way to thrust yourself into the adult entertainment world.

For the lazy porn star wannabe there are various Web sites, such as the “Porn Star Name Generator,” that make porn naming easier than microwaving a TV dinner. Just type in your name, click enter and voila!

For example, if I key in “Bobby Fairfield III” and press the magic button, the “Porn Star Name Generator” thinks for a minute, then spits out: “I now dub you Dirk Diggler.”

Thanks but no thanks. Last I remembered, that name was already taken.

So, you may be wondering, if none of those methods work for me, how do I come up with a super-schlocky moniker like Seymore Butts?

Well, first of all, a porn name doesn’t necessarily need to be lewd to lead to a successful career in adult entertainment. Think “Ron Jeremy” or “Jenna Jameson.”

Secondly, the process of creating a new identity isn’t as labyrinthine as you might suspect. If it comes to the point where you’re buying books on baby naming, you’re trying too hard.

Take it from porn MILF Totally Tabitha. The gang bang aficionado began her career only as “Tabitha,” which she said she simply pulled from the sky.

“It just popped into my head,” she said. “It came out of nowhere.”

Six months after her start in the biz, Tabitha, a business school graduate, added “Totally” in front of her name to see if she could market herself a little better. It worked.

“’Totally’ is totally all about me,” she said. “The response has always been positive. I think people find it kind of amusing.”

Plucking a random name and spicing it up with alliteration, as Totally Tabitha did, is just one approach to baptizing yourself into the porn world. Another is to name yourself after a friend, or in Alan Stafford’s case, a cellmate.

Stafford says he was behind bars on drug-related charges when he decided that upon his release he would enter the porn industry. At the same time, he decided that he’d adopt the name of the street his cellmate grew up on – “Stratford” – as part of his porn name.

However, “Stafford” was as close as the inmate-cum-porn stud could remember of his former cellmate’s name after his release. It was close enough for him.

“I was true to my word,” Stafford said, adding that he honored his cellmate even further by allowing him to witness his second porn shoot.

Some porn celebrities use names that reveal their personal interests. Take self-professed comic book nerd Phoenix Marie.

The actress says she lifted the first half of her name from her favorite Marvel Comics superheroine, Jean Grey, whose code name is “Phoenix.” The starlet then added her legal middle name, “Marie,” to round it out.

Marie’s industry colleague Megan Jones found her stage name in a similar fashion. “Megan” was conjured up on her inaugural shoot with the help of a few crew members, and “Jones” comes from her love of Samantha Jones, the tart played by Kim Cattrall in “Sex in the City.”

“Samantha Jones is my favorite character,” she said, adding that she’s “built a real respect” around her “Megan Jones” persona.

And while “Megan Jones” is the kind of porn name that could also belong to a nun, “Hottie Hollie” isn’t.

Hottie Hollie, the so-called “Catholic girl gone bad,” says she decided to take the less than subtle route with her stage name because she wanted to make an immediate impact in the adult entertainment world.

“Every time I say my name, people step back,” she said. “I wanted to stand out. I wanted to have something unique.”

And unique works, especially when it’s a name that spoofs a pop culture figure. Just ask Whitney Fears.

The so-called “Princess of Porn” says she actually began her X-rated career as “Andrea Evans” after realizing that several Web sites list actresses alphabetically. She only changed her name to “Whitney Fears” when someone in the industry suggested it sounded “cute and catchy.”

Along with the new name, Fears adopted a fresh look to match that of Britney Spears, even growing her hair out and coloring it to fit the pop star’s persona.

“Andrea was the bad girl sex kitten,” Fears said. “Whitney is more playful.”

Some adult entertainment performers don’t choose the right porn name the first time around, prompting a second effort. Such was the case with Derrick Pierce, who admits that he originally wanted to be called “Deez Nutz.”

“I figured, ‘It’s porn – it’s meant to be fun and stupid,’” he remembered.

But he learned that being called “Deez Nutz” wouldn’t exactly launch him into stardom. No directors booked him, turned off by the corny name.

He says he arrived at “Derrick Pierce” partly because of his numerous body piercings, but also because an ex-girlfriend who helped create the name was a fan of actor Pierce Brosnan.

Pierce, a history buff, has also performed under the name “Rasputin” for some of the kinkier scenes he’s done.

“[Rasputin] was an evil bastard,” Pierce said of the Russian cult figure. “Perverse does not begin to cover what this guy was into sexually.”

But no matter how you come up with your porn name, remember this: You’re still going to be banging for the camera, so don’t put too much time into figuring out your new identity. Save your energy for the “action” cue.

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