Envy Anyone? Jealousy Eclipses Reason As Pluto Puts On The Brakes And Changes Direction

This week, lust and greed can sit down, shut up and take a break. 

Pluto, the planet of death, rebirth and refusing to take no for an answer, stands still and makes his presence known. Jealousy and power battles take center stage and the dynamic will either reign supreme or sink your ship.

It all depends on how you work it.

ARIES: Career reversals and a boss’s BS could mess you up if you let it. Do yourself a favor and try to take the next five months of Pluto’s backsliding in stride. The unemployment line is not all it’s cracked up to be.

TAURUS: Sometimes being right isn’t enough to win your case or to keep you out of court altogether. So if you’re stopped by a cop who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow, be polite even if it kills you.

GEMINI: You may think that others are dying to know what’s on your mind, but they may hear what comes out of your mouth as “fightin’ words.” If you’re over-stimulated mentally, join a debating team or start a blog. Just don’t start chatting up everyone who looks interesting—unless they speak first.

CANCER: Power struggles with a partner come home to roost, and there’s no winning any of them. A simple “yes dear” will save you lots of energy and spare you from a shit load of trouble.

LEO: The stubborn behavior of a dumb SOB at work screws things up big-time and leaves you with a choice to either fly into a rage, seek revenge or turn the other cheek. But the snafu could actually work in your favor in the long run. Besides, things tend to work out best for you when you take the noble route.

VIRGO: If a lover regresses into childish behavior, seize the opportunity and indulge in some mommy/daddy role play. The next three weeks are all about talking dirty and fine-tuning the sexual aspect of creative visualization.

LIBRA: A partner’s aggressive demands for your ear 24/7 and the mounting needs of family members threaten to rock your world and will, at the very least, keep you off-kilter. Whatever you do for others won’t fully satisfy them, so chill and be OK with their whining for now.

SCORPIO: You may need to go back on a promise you made recently and the disappointment of the affected party is reasonable. Copping an attitude about it will add insult to injury. A little compassion goes a long way.

SAGITTARIUS: The philosophy of having it all will get you into big trouble. Greed and gluttony rock some of the time but this is the wrong week for expansion if you catch my drift. Sticker shock and interest rates are creepy realities that just have to be reckoned with. Bummer.

CAPRICORN: When everyone around you seems annoying and unreasonable, it may behoove you to stop and think. Could it be possible that you’re the problem? Take some responsibility for being in a bad mood and give yourself permission to disengage. It’s the right thing to do.

AQUARIUS: Don’t let too much ego mess you up on the road. Let road hogs have their way. It’s better than being in a hospital or having your insurance go up. Besides, being laid back this week could get you a very special lay.

PISCES: Sick of sloppy seconds? Well you should be. It’s time to speak up and ask for your due reward,  but do so with the expectation that a response could take a while. Friends may appear to go back on a promise, but don’t jump to conclusions; the jury is still out.

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This Week's Celebrity Birthdays 

March 29
Emma Cummings (21); Sammy Cruz (22)

March 30
Bridgette Monroe (40)

April 1
Jenna Presley (21); Kelli Tyler (28); Miss Bunny (29)

April 3
Destiny Deville (23); Tyler Faith (33)

April 4
Sharon Wild (29)

Other models:

Michelle Lay; Abbey Brooks

 

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