Women, Stop Posting Your Penis Shots Online
MARCH 28, 2008
SAN DIEGO (TNA) -- Women, stop posting your penis shots online! They’re not naughty – they’re lame.
What’s that? Don’t quite understand? Let me spell it out for you. You know those dick shots that men throw up on Craigslist, the hard-on pics that do absolutely nothing for you? The ones that have you shaking your head and mumbling how pathetic men can be?
Well, you’ve got your own penis shot. It’s called the “Flickr daily self-portrait.” It’s an ugly, nasty little photo with no redeeming value that 99.99 percent of the Internet community could do without in their lives.
We men explore the vast and beautiful Flickr community looking for schoolgirls, MILFs, and cougars and occasionally stumble on your asinine “daily self portrait.” It’s the same as browsing Craigslist and stumbling on a dick shot – exactly the same, in fact. Our reaction is the same: disgust and revulsion.
Scott Sorweid The Flickr daily self-portrait is the female equivalent of the Craigslist dick shot for men -- and just as repulsive.
“Why the hell would anyone do that?” we ask, recoiling. “Do they really think that’s attractive?”
We’d appreciate if you wouldn’t post such self-absorbed crap in a public forum, but you probably won’t stop. You’ve been doing it every day for the past nine months, so why change?
Well, because you’ve got a problem, that’s why.
At this point, women who upload “daily self portraits” are probably sniggering about how ridiculous this little article is. “Just nitpicking,” they’re saying. “How ridiculous.”
Ah, the power of denial.
Look, people, Flickr is some nasty shit. It’s like crack cocaine for narcissists.
You think I’m exaggerating? The site has a feature called “camera finder,” where you can search for photos by camera model. Go to a popular point-and-shoot camera, like the Canon Powershot SD1000, and select “profile” shots.
If you’re reading this, you’re online, so see for yourself. Find a female self portrait, then click on the woman’s account (called a “photo stream”). I’ll wait … See what I mean? Every photo is a self portrait.
"Flickr is some nasty shit. It’s like crack cocaine for narcissists."
There’s princess wearing a black skirt. Oh, and there she is wearing new jeans. Click through her entire account and you won’t find another human figure in a single frame.
Exploring Flickr is like walking into a crack house. Everywhere you turn, you find young women strung out on vanity.
One “user” – that’s what Flickr calls members – goes by the name “TheClothesHound” and represents a typical female narcissist on the site. Every day, Hound, who resembles Lisa Loeb, posts a new photo of herself in a different and adorable outfit. Beneath the photo, she takes the time to tell viewers exactly what she’s wearing (“Blouse: H&M, skirt: Banana Republic”).
Now, Hound appears to be a young college woman – and she looks very sweet – so it sucks to see her suffering so publicly in the grips of narcissism.
Another user named “Midwest Tess” is older but has the same problem. She also posts photos of herself wearing different outfits every day, but her outfits are slightly less girly. She will, in fairness, occasionally post photos of inanimate items, such as jewelry or trinkets.
Explore other cameras and “profiles” and you’ll find other women chasing the dragon. One woman uploads a different face shot every day. There’s the kissy face, the pouty face, the bored face, the screamy face. I just want to reach out to her.
And send over a penis shot.
The absolute uber-crack house for narcissists like Hound and Tess is something called “365 Days,” a group within Flickr for people who post a self-portrait every day for a year.
How can the authorities allow this vile den of self-love to exist? We have obscenity laws to prevent guys from posting dick shots all over the place. Why not have vanity laws to prevent women from posting their dick shots, too?
To all the women on Flickr, I say, “We’ve seen your dick. We know what it looks like. Now put it away.”
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