In Japan, Valentine's Day Is All About The Male
FEBRUARY 6, 2008
SAN DIEGO (TNA) – I’m proud to be an American, but I miss the Japanese way of celebrating Valentine’s Day.
Here in the United States, Valentine’s Day is a gynocentric holiday. So much is expected of the poor workaday male, that no man looks forward to it. He has to buy flowers, make dinner reservations, and pick up the tab; and through it all, he has to romance and entertain … demonstrably so.
Now let me tell you about Valentine’s Day in Japan. The women do all the work. They buy the gifts and the chocolate, bake the cookies and cakes, and write the cards and love letters; then they track down the men and present their tokens of affection, expecting nothing in return.
On Valentine's Day, so much is expected of the male ... in the United States.
Why do they expect nothing in return? Because Japanese men don’t have to give anything to women on Valentine’s Day in Japan. Nada. Zippo. That’s just the way the Japanese male rolls.
And, quite frankly, I like it.
There’s a catch, something called “White Day." If, one month later, a man has a girlfriend or wife, he must reciprocate. But the holiday is quid pro quo, with little emotion or effort invested – and even less expected.
How little is expected? When I lived in Japan, I took the train home from work one evening on White Day. Most of the salarymen were drunk – they’d been drinking with their co-workers. On the floor, in the middle of the train, lay a salaryman, spread-eagle and passed out drunk. A bouquet of roses sat clutched in his fist.
White Day is a mere irritant for the workaday male, and an afterthought for the cunning one. Fact is, a resourceful male can always get out of White Day. When I lived in Japan, I was very casually seeing (read: trying to break up with) a woman named Sachiko. For Valentine’s Day she gave me an expensive Ferragamo tie with a dancing Cossack motif.
Sachiko spent $100 on the tie – I know because I checked at the nearest department store. Naturally, I accepted the tie and wore it. After all, we were seeing each other. But I didn’t want to spend a c-note on her a month later, so over the next several weeks I decided that our relationship had run its course. In a painful yet necessary move, I broke up with her in the first week of March.
Do the math. I got through February and March without spending a yen, up a silk tie. Thank you, White Day! Now, if I had been stateside for Valentine’s Day, I would have been subjected to floral price gouging and restaurant tip inflation, with no return on investment.
Oh, and don’t think I’m a cad: I think fondly of Sachiko whenever I wear the tie. I silently give her credit whenever a girlfriend compliments me for wearing it.
In Japan, women cater to the male on Valentine's Day.
February and March are brutal months for American men. The football season has ended and baseball hasn’t started yet. Most women are hiding beneath three layers of clothing; and next year at this time could be particularly vexing: We could very well have a female sitting in the Oval Office.
So, couldn’t Congress throw the American male a bone and adopt Japanese Valentine’s Day. We’ve imported so much culture from Japan – sushi, judo, bukkake films – why not adopt a few of their holidays? It would really help out the over-taxed American male.
Arigato.
--Leopard J. Ferry is a former English teacher in Japan who only dated his students. He can be reached at leopardjferry [at] thenaughtyamerican.com
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