Embrace The Rat, New American Icon
JANUARY 15, 2008
SAN DIEGO (TNA) – The rat is moving up in the world. Scourge? Hardly. Vermin? Watch yourself there, Chester! You’re talking about an American icon.
The United States Postal Service is issuing a stamp to honor the rodent’s contribution to the arts and sciences, … global warming, … abolishing landmines, … Britney Spears’ mental health, and other important things people care about. How many stamps are you on?
The stamp coincides with the Chinese calendar, which is celebrating the “Year of the Rat” in 2008. The Asians have revered rats since the sixth century B.C., when, according to ancient Wikipedia scrolls, a Chinese emperor invited all animals on Earth to compete in a great race.
© 2007 USPS The rat, in the upper left, is on a stamp. How many are you on?
Legend has it that only 12 animals bothered to show up, and the starting line looked like this: Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Lamb, Monkey, Cock, Dog, and Pig.
The rat considered the competition a bunch of chumps, cheated his ass off and won the race.
The shenanigans began when the rat pushed a 13th competitor, the Cat, into the water during a river crossing. The cat nearly drowned and had to drop out of the contest. Embittered, the feline retreated from public life to become aloof and fiercely individualistic.
Another version says that the cat asked his good buddy the rat to wake him up on the morning of the race, but the rat – no surprise here – conveniently forgot.
In Asia, the rat is a winner.
Asians have long recognized the good in animals we in the West either barbeque or exterminate: pigs, chickens, snakes, and rats. But that’s all changing. Now the rodent is considered industrious and ambitious.
Take a look at the press release from the USPS: “People born in the Year of the Rat are said to be industrious, adaptable and ambitious.” Some would say these same people are vainglorious opportunists who cheat and steal at every turn. But, eh, why parse words? The USPS got it right.
It’s hard to believe that the rat used to be considered vermin – an unfair stereotype. Thank God political correctness has arrived for the animal kingdom.
How many times did we have to watch cartoons depicting rats as thieves, thugs, and degenerates? Remember Nick and Fetcher, the two rat profiteers from “Chicken Run”? Or how about Megavolt, the bucktoothed sociopath from the “Darkwing Duck” series?
And don’t forget Mickey Rat, the 60’s underground comics character. Said his creator, Robert Armstrong, “He was sleazy, opportunistic, capable of just about any foul deed, but also shallow, one-dimensional, and incapable of growth or subtlety.”
© 2007 USPS Mickey Rat: sleazy, shallow, and opportunistic
Perhaps the worst, though, is Verminous Skumm, a filthy 7-foot rat in tattered clothes who played an arch villain on “The New Adventures of Captain Planet.” The characterization is so offensive on so many levels, I don’t even know where to begin.
The rat lobby in Washington and rat PR people must be doing something right, because the rodent’s image has been thoroughly rehabilitated over the past year.
Before the postage stamp coup, there was “Ratatouille,” the animated film from Pixar whose protagonist is a likeable rat who wants nothing more than to be a top chef. That’s a more palatable characterization.
The most exciting news, though, came just last week, when scientists announced that they have grown – that’s right, lovingly raised – a working rat heart. No longer are they cutting up rat organs. They’re growing them!
It gets better. Scientists say that the little rat heart may help fight heart disease in humans. People would do well to cease looking at the dog as man’s best friend, and look deeper, into our sewers. How many dogs have helped man beat heart disease!
As our nation matures, perhaps we will see other “pests,” such as the weasel and cockroach, for their industry and character. You say “weasel,” I say “mink.” As for the cockroach, studies show that it can survive decapitation for several weeks, breathing through its body parts. Now that’s industrious.
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