‘Moralistic’ Man Sells Fake Doctor Notes
FEBRUARY 27, 2008
ST. PAUL, Minn. (TNA) – Skipping work or school to go play no longer takes Ferris Bueller-type operations, thanks to a Minnesota man who sells authentic-looking fake doctor’s notes online.
MyFirstSexTeacher.com The owner of www.bestfakedoctornotes.com insists his product will fool even the most discerning teachers or bosses.
By day, “Mark” is a records management employee at a Twin Cities law firm, but at night he runs www.bestfakedoctornotes.com, a Web site from which people can buy a dozen phony physician’s notes – ready to be signed – for $14.97.
The notes appear to come from the offices of a slew of doctors, including a gynecologist, cardiologist and dentist, and excuse the “patient” from work or school. Certain notes will even contain specific instructions, such as “no heavy lifting,” to give them a legitimate look.
Although Mark’s Web site says stressed-out Americans “need a damn break,” and states that the notes are “guaranteed to get you out of work or school,” he’s unsure of the legality of his product. Although he says he hasn’t been investigated yet, he has added a disclaimer stating that the notes are for entertainment purposes only.
“I would never turn in a fake doctor’s note to my employer,” Mark said.
He’s even gone as far as to say that his capitalistic venture could be deemed unethical, and admits to feeling a bit guilty about selling the notes.
“I’m pretty moralistic,” Mark said.
Some may think differently, though, considering the fact that Mark photocopied a doctor’s note he found in some work records to use it for research purposes while creating his product.
According to Mark, the idea for the hooky-enabling business manifested last November while he was in rehab. He and a friend were spitting around ideas, and the thought of selling fake doctor’s notes online arose.
Mark looked into it, and soon found that how to create a phony doctor’s note was frequently researched on the Internet, right next to a page explaining how to give a blowjob.
“I simply saw a demand on the Internet and created a product to fulfill that demand,” Mark said.
After referencing the real doctor’s note he photocopied, Mark dug around online until he found the graphics he needed to put together a design for his phonies. He then inserted a heading for the customer to enter a fake doctor’s name, office address and phone number, and also added a physician-esque statement instructing the “patient” to be excused from work or school:
www.bestfakedoctorsnotes.com The Web site features a dozen fake doctor notes including phony gynecologists, make-believe cardiologists and bogus dentists
This is to confirm that [customer’s name] was examined by us on the above date, and may return to work or school on: [date].
For entertainment and humor purposes, Mark created fictional doctor, “Dr. E.Z. Streat,” and added him to his Web site as his sunglasses-wearing pitchman.
“I figure (the Web site) is kind of a shady thing, but I try to make it funny at the same time,” he said.
Mark’s site insists that the notes are gags meant for “entertainment use only.” However, “if someone chooses to use them in other ways, that is their decision,” he said. “I do not encourage illegal use of my products.”
Despite his warning, Mark says his sales are relatively steady – the slower days coming toward the end of the work week.
“Mondays are usually the highest selling days – people are usually overwhelmed at the beginning of the week,” Mark said.
Just to show that he’s not a complete shyster, Mark tacks on a few bonuses to his customers’ purchases – such as e-books on topics such as acing a job interview and resume writing secrets.
“Even though Dr. E.Z. Streat seems like a shady guy, he’s got a heart,” Mark said.
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