Forks Vs. Chopsticks: A Neverending Cutlery Cutting Contest

SAN DIEGO (TNA) – Chew on this: A guy on a date in a Chinese food place becomes a mentally challenged orangutan while using chopsticks. His plan of impressing his date goes down the drain, while his pot sticker leaves a grease trail down his shirt.

Another tasteless tale: The woman at Home Town Buffet who shovels all the food possible into her mouth with her fork. As a result, her husband tells her she looks like an unevolved Mongoloid without manners.

Forks and chopsticks battle for the gold medal of silverware.

Both chopsticks and forks have their merits, but to defend one over the other, it’s best to have a plateful of information.

Chopsticks have been around longer. Historians claim cavemen used chopsticks as long, skinny skewers to hold mastodon kebabs over their new invention, fire.

By 200 B.C., the sticks were stuck throughout Asia and locals used them to devour their ancient version of Orange Chicken.

Meanwhile, forks arrived in the 1900s. They were available before, but not commonly used because spoons and knives were easier for silversmiths to make.

Which is best? Well, the chopstick is capable of grasping both large and small food items, and experienced users are able to pick up an entire meal or an individual grain.

However, chopsticks aren’t easy to master. To eat, the bottom stick is stationary between the thumb and fourth finger while the tip of the same thumb and the index and middle fingers move the top chopstick.

Despite the difficult learning curve, chopsticks provide a comfort to foodies like Eric Gower, a San Francisco chef who lived in Japan for 15 years.

“There’s something about the bamboo in your mouth,” Gower explains. “The warm, rough texture in your mouth takes you back to when you were a kid sticking twigs in your mouth.

Meanwhile, forks are easier for stabbing food without it falling to the floor, and even a thumb-less child can use them.

The disadvantage of forking is that to get a good amount of food into the mouth, a knife or piece of bread is needed to push food onto the fork while a steady hand is needed to balance the food.

Even worse: Folks with fillings in their teeth have to worry about accidentally hitting their molars and having the metal-on-metal contact cause unbelievable agony. Also, the food being pierced by the fork must be larger than a pea or else particles can fall in between the prongs and onto the eater’s lap.

Gower also says there’s an issue of taste.

“Forks add a metallic taste to your food, and thereby removes from the taste of the food,” he said. “Then there’s the knife, which can damage your plates.”

Leonel Flor, a construction worker and self-professed Asian food lover, says chopsticks can be momentarily fun, but are distracting and can actually ruin a meal.

“I know how to use chopsticks, but it takes too much effort,” he said. “You have to think about what you’re doing. You can’t use them while sitting in traffic, and you definitely can’t use them if you’re sleepy.

“It’s second nature to move a fork to your mouth. Chopsticks add to the whole feel of takeout, but I don’t think it’s all that necessary, and you save yourself from making a fool out of yourself if you just use the fork.”

Price is another consideration in the chopsticks vs. forks debate. Forks made from sterling silver, gold and other precious metals can be expensive, especially when purchased in matching sets.

But the price for chopsticks can also stick you with a big bill. Mrslinskitchen.com offers chopsticks made from materials like bamboo, lacquer, enamel, silver, ivory, jade and gold, costing up to $30 per pair.

With chopsticks, a higher price doesn’t equal a better grip on the food. It can be just the opposite. Gower said,

“Ivory or lacquered chopsticks can become greasy, allowing for food to slide,” he said. “If you stick to bamboo or wood, the rough texture grips food and things don’t slide in the same way.”

In fact, Gower believes you can eat anything with good chopsticks – even soup and ice cream.

“Eating soup is easier; you can pick out the morsel you want, then sip from the bowl,” Gower said. “With Ice cream, you can pick out the right sized bite for you, the way you would with noodles.”

Still, even chopstick fanatics like Gower admit that sometimes, forks are best.

“Technically, when the physics of eating precludes against using chopsticks, you need a fork,” Gower said. “Every once in a while, someone will serve on a flat plate, so it’s best to grab a fork.”

While a fork is good for plate cleaning, fork cleaning requires extra effort.

Leftovers stuck between the prongs can take God’s strength, steel wool and about 10 minutes to remove, whereas chopsticks need just one good swipe to be cleaned.

Some assume the choice between chopsticks and forks is a matter of cultural differences and as Americans become more comfortable with Asian cuisine, they will also become more confident with chopsticks.

Not so.

Take the case of Jamie Saelee, who has found chopsticks problematic, even though she grew up using them in a Thai home.

“I don’t hate them, I just can’t use them,” Saelee explained, demonstrating an inept stabbing motion with her chopsticks resembling a paralyzed crab trying to pick up a rock.

For the rest of us, choosing between chopsticks and forks is not an easy choice to make. Both sides of the battle, it’s about what comfort. For some, comfort means twirling a fork. For others, it’s about being able to feel the warmth of the chopstick’s wood.

Either way, it’s food for thought.