Prankster Gives Ebay Sellers The Business

FRESNO, Calif. (TNA) – Whoever said “The customer is always right” never met Art Farkas.

He’s a guy who attempts to buy things on eBay, but some would say he’s not “right” at all.

Farkas is the fake name used by Paul Meadors, a 5th grade teacher in Fresno, California, by day, and a cyber-prankster who pesters eBay sellers at night.

Paul Meadors, aka "Art Farkas," baits eBay sellers.

For instance, Meadors once asked the owner of a set of bongo drums if they might be able to be strapped around his grandmother’s waist so that she might could perform as a street musician to raise rent money.

The seller was so eager to make a quick sale that, rather than dismiss the question out of hand, he wrote back with explicit directions. It could be done by putting the conga stands around her neck and duct taping the bongos to both her back and front, he explained.

“It would be easier with a carrying device,” the seller explained. “but could be done without.”

Meadors has contacted more than 190 eBay sellers in the past two years and says his mission is, in part, to point out the outrageous phrases that people use in hopes of making a sale.

“There was one person selling a ‘new large copper metal flower arranging from bird cage’ that they claimed was ‘worry free,’” Meadors said. “I wanted to exploit this ludicrous, throwaway sentence so I wrote back explaining that I had a medical condition that causes me to worry greatly about everything, such as whether sippy cups are safe, the Gross National Product of Hungary and the number 72.

“I asked him if the product would really help me to be ‘worry free,’ and he wrote back that that phrase was more of a description of the ready-to-use nature of the cage, but did not extend to anything besides the cage.”

Another time, Meadors told the owner of a trumpet that he wanted to play it with his nose and asked whether the mouthpiece would fit around the left nostril.

The seller was amazingly helpful, but asked Meadors to supply his nostril size so he could compare it with his brother’s nose.

Most of the eBayers that Meadors has terrorized have been anonymous net nerds, but he got his start as a cyber-prankster by yanking the chain of his own brother-in-law, who was trying to sell a ceramic sculpture of Jesus and his disciples at the Last Supper.

“This was the sort of thing that can be bought anywhere, but he advertised it as, ‘A must-have for collectors of religious artifacts. Starting bid: 99 cents.’”

Meadors figured if the sculpture was THAT valuable, it should have been donated to the Smithsonian, where it would be surrounded by the finest security possible ... as opposed to eBay, selling for less than a buck.

He pestered his brother-in-law with so many strange questions that eventually the guy told him to start bothering other people, a request Meadors not only took to heart, but to a literary agent.

Meadors has collected 119 responses into a new book, “Letters to eBay: Hilarious Auctions, Crazy Emails and Bongos for Grandma” (Warner Books) that is written under his Art Farkas moniker.

He’s excited about being published, but admits coming clean about his hobby is ruining his fun, because now experienced eBayers are making the connection that “Art Farkas” is a prankster – especially since Meadors hasn’t bought a single item on eBay – ever.

Another thing that is cramping Meadors’ style: He hasn’t been able to razz eBayers for month because he’s been too busy getting clearances from the people he duped a while back.

“It was kind of difficult sending messages to people saying, ‘Remember that question I asked you a while back? Well, it was a fake and is now going to appear in a book.’ Some people felt exploited and there’s a guy in the U.K. who still believes the whole thing is the biggest eBay scam of them all.”

“However, most of the people who are in the book are excited, and there’s a core group of 60 to 70 people who can’t wait for the book’s release.”