Brokeback Flap Shows NBA’s Lack Of Balls

LOS ANGELES (TNA) – “We call this a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ game, because there’s so much penetration and kick-outs.”

This was the statement from Los Angeles Lakers coach Phil Jackson that drew unnecessary ire from NBA Commissioner David Stern. In today’s post-Isiah world, the league has become prudish.

But what exactly was offensive about Jackson’s comment? That he pointed out there is penetration in gay sex? There is also penetration in straight sex (if you’re doing it right). Perhaps Stern needs a refresher course.

Jackson’s remark wasn’t news until the NBA released a statement announcing it had given the coach a “talking-to.” Not many people even knew of the comment before the NBA drew attention to it. If Stern’s true intent was to contain the situation, he would have taken up the issue with Jackson privately, and then let it be.

While some might consider the comment to be in poor taste, Jackson was neither derogatory nor insulting in his verbiage. His only crime was a failed attempt at humor. The comment itself was so innocent, in fact, that even the scandal-hungry media passed it over as news.

But thanks to wildly reported incidents like the Isiah Thomas sexual harassment suit and Don Imus calling the Rutgers women’s basketball team “nappy-headed hoes,” the sports world has become overly sensitive to sensitive issues.

Sure, “better safe than sorry” might be one way to look at it, but the attention the NBA has given to comments like Jackson’s just might be the core of the problem.

There was no public outcry for action. No gay and lesbian organizations demanded Jackson be disciplined. Those who knew of the comment took it for what it was: a bad joke.

So while the message the NBA is attempting to send is that of tolerance, it has failed miserably. Inadvertently, the league has sent two different messages.

The first is the “We’re so afraid of being sued that nobody is allowed to say anything remotely close to the word ‘sex’ ever” message. By making players and coaches tiptoe around their words, the league is ensuring that any and all game recaps will be filled with the same boring and blanket quotes. We expect excitement and color from the games we watch. The post-game reports should reflect that.

The second is the “We claim to be tolerant but really we’re incredibly homophobic” message. If Jackson had compared the amount of penetration to a Tara Reid movie, the NBA wouldn’t have blinked. Going on the attack the minute a “Brokeback” joke is made only gives the impression that the league thinks movies with gay characters are more offensive.

The NBA and Stern need to lighten up and gain some perspective. The only thing offensive about Jackson’s comment is that it simply wasn’t funny.

The lesson appears to be that if you’re going to attempt a joke, it had better be amusing; otherwise you’re in for a “Stern” talking-to. Meantime, Jackson quickly made it clear he regretted the statement and issued a response. 

Said the coach, “If I’ve offended any horses, Texans, cowboys or gays, I apologize.” 

Lesson learned.

(Warning: adult content)